admin

Sushma’s Story

December 7, 2019 by admin

It was Sep 2015 and I was just 35. I had a high paying corporate job, a beautiful 6 year old and a super supportive husband. The only issue was I had extreme pain in my heels, which made it very uncomfortable for me to stand and walk. I went to a few doctors and they recommended vitamins, a few gave steroid shots…Nothing helped… I was required to travel as a part of my job and this agonizing heel pain made it very difficult to work. My ambition didn’t allow me to slow down.

My husband saw this program… Chronic Solution …A yogic residential retreat for 21 days. I was not sure if a retreat would be answer to my pain so I resisted but husband decided to enroll me.

I had never stayed alone in my life. This was going to be a huge change. I was unsure if the program could actually cure me. I remember reaching the place and Lee welcomed me and I still remember her smilingly telling me ‘I am glad you could make it.’ I felt welcomed.

The program consisted of shuddhi kriyas, asanas, pranayama, healthy juice followed by naturopathic treatments, meditation, lectures on human anatomy and lifestyle changes, yoga nidra, chanting and tratak. The schedule is still fresh in my mind as it changed my life for good.

During one of yoga nidra sessions, I realized I had never known to love myself. There was so much buried under the carpet emotionally that was manifesting as ill health. I had severe anger issues and was depressed. Slowly, during forgiveness meditations, I learned to become aware of my emotions. Lee encouraged us to write a journal. I would cry every time I was writing a page, it worked as mind cleanser. Anytime, there was a question, a doubt, any hurdle that wouldn’t let me move forward, help was extended by Lee and her team. I remember by the end of second week, I was smiling and found peace.

Initially, I always questioned if the program needed 3 weeks? By the end of 3 weeks, all my group mates felt that 3 weeks were needed to bring a shift in our attitudes, our perceptions and belief systems.

By the end of the program, my plantar fasciitis (heel pain) has reduced significantly. My husband and my family felt that I was happier person.

I continued with the recommended practice. After a month, I had a horrible experience at work, where my boss and my best friend at work betrayed me. I was shattered and I came to a conclusion that to survive in this world, one needs to be not trusting and kind. It is never reciprocated. I was in emotional turmoil and I couldn’t find my ground and find stability. I turned to my comfort zone, which was yoga nidra.

After one yoga nidra session, I came out very happy from my room and I remember telling my husband, I don’t need to alter myself for some people miserable behavior. That was the turning point in my life. I quit my job, which would have been impossible considering my ambitious nature and the high level I had reached. I decided to take a pause in my life and decide where is it that I would find peace and balance. I turned to learning yoga and enrolled in yoga teacher training course, so that I could learn in depth the science and philosophy.

Today, I am in a different country, where life seems overwhelming as everything is new and different but I still continue with Yoga Nidra. I am still the student that I was at Lee’s retreat, learning everyday to be aware of my emotions, to keep balance and inner peace.

I can never express how much gratitude I feel for this program for shaping me.

Sushma
Toronto, Canada
November 2019.

Jyotsna’s story

October 22, 2017 by admin

Jyotsna came to us for the Rejuvenation for Cancer Patients program in March 2015. A 35 year old Indian homemaker from Delhi, was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 33. She did not have an operation or radiation however she did endure 32 chemotherapy sessions.

Her initial scores for Anger, Tension, Depression, Fatigue and Confusion were fairly high. She participated in the program diligently but being shy very rarely shared anything during the classes. She approached me a couple of times during the program as if wanted to open and talk but ended up in very reserved discussions. I was very happy to see her score at the end of the program. She showed one of the best improvements in all values comparing to others in the group.

After the program ended I had not heard from her for a long time. I knew that she went for another round of chemo as the cancer became active and I worried how she was taking it. She already endured so much!

3 months went by and it was time for follow up tests. I sent it to everyone and waited, wondering how she was doing. I half expected her to decline filling in the tests as she was at the end of her chemo sessions, which is usually the most difficult and most vulnerable time for patients. However I was wrong – she did respond not only with fully completed tests but also put a lot of work into the response.

Usually, even with great improvements during the program between day 1 and the last day results, the 3 month results return slightly towards day 1 values and are usually worse than the day 20^th test results. In my two years of running the program the best I saw in 3 months follow up was when patients maintained the 20^th day result.

Jyostna’s Results

	Day 1	Day 20th	3 months
POMS Profile of Mood States
Tension	14	5	3
Depression	27	3	1
Anger	22	4	8
Vigor	23	23	30
Fatigue	13	6	2
Confusion	14	3	3
Total score	57	-2	-13

HADS
Anxiety	9	5	2
Depression	3	1	0
Total score	12	6	2

Jyotsna’s results left me speechless.

Despite doing yet another round of chemo therapy she managed to improve her 20^th day result !! (see above). Her Tension, Depression, Fatigue and Vigor values improved. Her Anger increased, which I often see as a simple reflection of patient’s higher awareness of their emotional state. Her Anxiety and Depression score also decreased. Overall POMS and HADS total scores improved dramatically.

I wrote to her asking how she is doing and here is her beautiful verbatim response:

“Hi Lee

I am glad that I am showing improved results, despite being on chemo. I will have my second last chemo on 20th of this month and last in the month of august, my birthday month.

The result has left me with tears in my eyes and your positive comment was very overwhelming.

Your guidance has further propelled me on path of self-discovery. I understand my body, my feelings, and my needs in a much better way now. After a long time I have realized that my body is prone to produce more acidic response when I am exposed to heat and prolonged high temperature. I understand my body better now. I am more aware of my emotions – lethargy … thirst… anxiousness … anger… jealousy… and best part is that I am accepting my feelings now. In a nutshell I understand my self now

My relationship with my husband has reached a new level. I am able to say things to him.. I would have never said before. At times I don’t think that it’s me… who is talking. I am often astonished by my own replies… that I can even say these things. I have let down most of my guard and I feel so much at ease with myself. You know. I can give in to my husband easily and comfortably now… It has really improved my relationship with him. I also I enjoy time spent with my son more.

I do meditate regularly. There are days when I can’t even close my eyes because I am scared. There are days when I cry. I started my a diary where I write everyday… it has enabled me to mirror myself and look at myself and accept all my emotions with love and appreciation.

About Harry

October 9, 2017 by admin

Harry came to us 2 days before opening of the program, referred by my friend, a medical doctor. A quiet man from Canada with stage four lymphoma, just finished chemotherapy and radiation 2 months ago, which proved unsuccessful. Although he was in constant pain (for which he had morphine) he was determined to attend as much of the program as he could. Right from the beginning his will to live was very apparent.

The results of test on the first day of program showed a lot of tension, depression and anger. I was not surprised – he was told he had only 6 months to live. Sujaya, one of the befriended co-participants writes: “We each had our stories but his was the most painful as his cancer had not been contained by traditional medicine. He was in debilitating pain caused by the spreading tumor. His eyes reflected the pain and hopelessness he felt and my heart went out to him. I could not imagine what it must feel like when you are waiting to die.”

Harry had great difficulties with yoga Nidra because of the physical pain. At some point I offered to help him with Healing Touch. He wrote later in his diary

Lee, was kind to offer her healing touch. Her touch was soothing and kept me calm throughout the yoga Nidra. Lee is a compassionate person and her compassion comes through her work with cancer patients trying to make a difference in their lives. I am sure her work has touched many lives in a positive way.

As we went on to second week of the program Sujaya wrote: “with each passing day Harry developed a definite sparkle in his eye and lightness in his walk. He was changing how he looked at his prognosis. We began to talk about the future”.

One day Harry asked me for counseling session. He talked about his life, about those he loved and hurt and about his regrets. I asked him to put this all on paper for the next session. We met again after few days and he read what he wrote on 8 pages. It was a difficult read for him and he stopped few times to hold the tears back. I then built a little fire and he burned page by page while we held hands chanting Trayambakam – his favorite healing mantra. The next day his smile became much bigger as he said – I left a lot of burden in that fire and I feel much lighter! Later on we heard him humming an Indian raga he remembered form his childhood.

By the end of the program the tests confirmed the improvement on all fronts: tension wend down from 17 to 8, depression went down form 22 to 9, anger from 13 to 5, vigor increased from 5 to 13, fatigue went form 16 to 10 and confusion went from 13 to 7. When we reviewed the results together Harry said:

Yes – that’s about how I feel. And one more thing… when I came to the program I was afraid of death – now I am not. I will live as long as I can and spend as much time with my sons as possible.

“At the end of the program I feel Harry left Kaivalyadham much more at peace with himself. I think somewhere along the way he unearthed a will to fight and acceptance to live as happily as he could for as long as he would” – Sujaya wrote.

Six weeks later we learned that Harry passed away peacefully, surrounded by his family.

The referring medical doctor commented “This Rejuvenation for Cancer Patients program was the best present we could give him before passing on”.

Nick’s story

October 8, 2017 by admin

I had decided to attend the three week course in October 2014 run by Lee Majewski at Kaivalydham in India South East of Mumbai as I was recovering from some severe arthritis following a period of feeling really unwell after food poisoning in Sri Lanka. Well, that was one demonstrable symptom but perhaps also, just getting older was another, having passed my seventy second birthday and deeply conscious that for the last lap of this race we all run, I needed to pay closer attention to my body and to my mind. I had at that stage not really thought about my heart.

The course was a daily programme of very gentle yoga postures, pranayama breath routines, awareness, study and chanting, not to mention lovely simple food day after day. A nice cocktail !! The first week is of course always the hardest and I duly struggled while at the same time noting an almost immediate increase in general vitality which I ascribed to pranayama. Looking back on the experience I now see just how deeply significant and necessary this practice of breath work really is. I had for years tried to meditate but it was not really until I started working with the breath that I realised that to watch the breath is to meditate. The gentle repetition day after day of these practices is the thing that does the trick and which is so difficult to do in UK with all its dear distractions.

The second week seems to be the week when “the stuff rises” so to speak and in my case this was most certainly the case. It took the form of finding myself almost uncontrollably angry at our course Leader ..poor Lee. This exploded one day and I attacked her verbally, an assault in the face of which she stood calmly firm and looked at me with increased attention. We subsequently had a chat about it and I realised I was projecting an old hatred born of fear onto her, and having seen it, as is the way with these things ..it collapsed and I was free of it, important in what was to happen next.

Kindly, I think partly as a result of this, Lee started in our meditation sessions, to direct us to working on the heart centre (heart chakra as it’s called in the Indian Tradition). This for me was the crowning experience of my whole visit and I came to realise just how helpful the whole chakra system really is in helping us to unblock old wounds. I suppose I have here to own that, on reflection, in spite of many attempts to be otherwise, my heart still remained closed. This is a terrible condition and one I suspect very common in the west, for if the heart is closed, then “loving” is not really possible. We may seek “love” as hard as we like but “loving”, loving life, loving people, loving all experience, eludes us. A most painful condition that arises I suspect from very early birth or childhood traumatic experience in which the heart closes in order to survive. And when the heart closes out of these traumatic contacts with the world it builds around itself a hard casing like an old walnut that has sat beside the fire all winter. Hard and very difficult to crack open.

Working with the heart centre for us meant repeatedly bringing our attention to bear on the heart, imaginally breathing in and out of the heart, evoking in the heart positive emotions such as gratefulness, kindness, appreciation, mercy, and finally perhaps love itself. When I commenced this I have to say I was a bit suspicious. Was this just a new age dream ? Did in actually do anything ? It did !!

In one session quietly concentrating on my heart it suddenly burst into flame. I could not believe it; I suddenly had a veritable bonfire going in the area of the heart. Small to begin with it began to flower until my whole interior horizon was ablaze. The session finished and I was left dumb with wondering, weepy, slightly shaken, unsure of what had happened but realising something big really had happened .We dispersed for lunch and I wandered off on my own towards the kitchens. As I entered the courtyard a clear intuition came over me that I had not quite finished this piece of work and so, seeking out a chair under a tree, I re-entered my interior world and brought my attention back to the fire in my heart. Almost immediately I saw the fire glowing deep down inside me and my attention was taken by one small specific coal that seemed to glow more brightly than the others. In my imagination I picked this glowing coal up in my fingers and stared at it deeply. In a flash I immediately vanished deep deep inside myself, deeper than in any meditation I had ever done before and I swam around inside myself like this for some minutes, head “deep under water” so to speak. I suddenly popped out again and went and had lunch !!

This experience has stayed with me when I returned to the UK and it’s as if a whole new dimension has arisen in my experience of being alive. I find it the most potent antidote to negative feelings and emotions. Should these crowd in upon me (as they are wont to do in grey old January London!!?) I simply bring my attention to the heart and circle around it with positive affirmations of emotions such as joy, loving gratefulness for what I have rather than what I do not have and lo and behold my negative feelings evaporate. As I usually do this in the early morning I come down to breakfast and my wife says “Why are you so damn cheerful”.

Also I think once we re-open this centre in ourselves a compulsion seems to arise, and it certainly did in me, to be more honest with ourselves and more straightforward and honest with others. I found myself being much more critical of myself in terms of relationships, wanting things straightforward, nothing concealed, a higher integrity as if the heart could not stand anything not quite right not straight and authentic. Finally it seemed to me as if one other essential faculty was restored to me through this heart centre work and that was that my gratefulness heart meditations turned into what I can only describe as praise . This did not seem to be praise to a specific God, or even an idea like it, but to something out and beyond my small self, something altogether larger and more powerful than myself to which the only right attitude seemed to be praise. This has given my life a new sense of direction in this respect and it is a joyful thing

So having completed this course and having been able to keep my practice going on my return to England my advice would be, chuck the anti-depressants away, stop rushing around trying to distract yourself with ever finer distractions, breath, meditate and bring your attention to the heart again and again until it fills you up. You may be surprised !

Thank you Lee, thank you Kaivalydham, I salute all your efforts to bring sanity to this crazy lovely planet of ours.

NAMASTE

NICHOLAS PEARSON

Hello world!

August 21, 2017 by admin

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!